Mum is gone, but not forgotten

So it's Wednesday, and it's about 10 days since Mum's service, and over 2 weeks since she passed away. I really don't know what to think to be honest, or how to feel. I feel like I want to "get a better hold" of my thoughts and feelings. My thoughts ramble ... I wish that I could capture them better. Maybe this might work.

Hebrews 11:13 All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.

I wish I knew what to think. Mum's passing was so sudden. My mind is struggling with the idea that this was her time, and also thinking that she was too young to go, and should still be here.
The night after her service, or actually early the next morning, I awoke and found that a part of my pillow was damp. I felt my face and wondered had I been crying, or dribbling. There was no moisture on my face at all. I got up and went to the toilet. As I was returning to my bed, I glanced at the clock on the microwave and the time was 4:12am. April 12 was the day that Mum had passed from this world. I returned to bed and thought about this, and wondered had Mum somehow come to me in my sleep? Was she crying for me, knowing and possibly finally getting who I am?

Am I lacking peace about this, about Mum's death? I have cried for her, and I get that I am sure there will be more tears for her. How could there not be? And that thought doesn't worry me. I expect that to be the case. That said, I don't understand what has happened. I can't find peace about it. I know that she is with God, and that makes sense. I know that she is truly in a better place, and that also makes sense. It just hurts. And I feel sad. I feel loss. My heart is heavy. That is what I am feeling.