I have been watching a few people on Youtube over the last week. And when I say people, I mean trans people that are making VLOGs. I have always been drawn to other people’s stories. Their journeys.
I would like to say that I have been diligent in recording my story, but I haven’t. I mean it’s pretty much all up in my head. I haven’t forgotten the steps I have taken, but then I haven’t recorded them either.
Anyway, I was thinking what are the aspects of other people’s journeys that I have found the most inspiring and the most informative? Because that’s what I would like to “give back” if I can.
And that’s what I want for my story. I want it to be a source of inspiration. Not necessarily the glitz or the glamour of it all, but the everyday aspects of being full time and the little surprises that come my way so often. All of those things that make me realise this is the best thing that I can be doing right now.
So, I am going to try and add a few observations that I have made over the last 9 months or so about who I am and where I am at as a transsexual person.
What would it have taken for me to do this earlier? Good question. I’m almost 44. I think every one of us deals with this one. Wish that we had done it earlier. For me, so many things held me back. Mostly it was my fear and my sense of responsibility. I felt responsible to everyone around me to stay as a male.
But what would have caused me to do this much earlier? Why did I wait for as long as I have? I believe there is a time. There is a season. Things just seem to happen in their time. I realised tho, that I could have done this a lot earlier. But what would that have taken? It would have taken for someone to have come to me, knowing what I was thinking and feeling, and said to me essentially “You will have to do something about this at some point in your life. You will not escape this.”