Three Weeks Tomorrow

Three weeks tomorrow.  How that does feel?  Surprisingly, it feels very peaceful.  I think I am ready for this.  I don't mean to "wish away" the next three weeks either, I will be happy to stay seated for the entire "ride".

In November of last year, Leigh Neighbour who is the minister of Metropolitan Community Church in Brisbane asked me to speak about Transgender Day of Remembrance.  I remember speaking about what it's like to be transgender, and how that feels, and the struggles that we face, and the dangers as well.  After all, that's what it's about.  It's about remembering those who have not survived this journey for whatever reason.  Tragically there are those who are taken from us violently.  Murdered just for being themselves.  And then there are those that we lose because this journey is too difficult.  And truly there is no judgement there.  There but for the grace of God.

Yesterday, though, was different.  Someone I know through the internet, a friend, posted their "final video" on youtube.  At first I wasn't sure what they meant.  I thought that perhaps this person was just stopping their channel.  And that would have been tragic in itself.  But this friend meant differently.  My heart immediately broke and my blood ran cold.  I was stunned.  I saw her post a mere 15 minutes after she posted.

We do live in a community.  And we are affected by each other.  We each have our own significance and weight in each others lives.  The internet brings us together in ways that are mind blowing, and yet it can also still leave us isolated geographically.  Sometimes it's not enough to use words, we want to be "there" for a person.  And yet we can't.  We have to sit and wait, powerless to do anything.  And that's hard.

I hope this girl will be okay.  She didn't end up taking her own life, but I believe her when she said that it was her intention to.  I hope that she can find something to hold on to in this world.  I guess I say that selfishly too.  I want her to stay because I appreciate who she is.  I would never judge her though if she wanted to go home.  I would just be incredibly sad and again reminded of how difficult this journey is.

All that said, I wouldn't trade anything for being a part of this community.  To quote a wise man, "I love my tribe".  I love who I am.  I love this community.